Sun Rise service

I know it’s short notice but like most people I was caught unawares by Rupert’s latest wheeze and so I am announcing a special Sun Rise Service to be held tomorrow at our local shopping centre. We will meet at the church at 6.30am for a brief period of reflection as we remember the late lamentable News of the World. Then I will lead a procession to the local newsagent for the purchase of the Sun on Sunday, the latest publication to grace our culture from the Antipodean media mogul. This will be followed by a reading of the journal at the coffee shop. When the three minutes of looking at the pictures are up we will remain at the establishment to finish our beverages before returning home. Participants are then free to do what they usually do with products from News International; in my case it will be lining the floor of the rabbit hutch although our rabbit refuses to do his business on anything coming out of Wapping and Thomas More Square.