Not so quiet desperation

It has been brought to my attention that many of my social media buddies found my exasperated twittering about the plight of my beloved Manchester United last season highly amusing. Gary, aka @Gerrarrdus, was still chuckling about it when we met up for a pint in Norfolk last week. I had been looking forward to this season as a fresh start; an opportunity to tweet away about victories secured under the new management of Louis Van Gaal, culminating in posting a picture of the MUFC squad parading the Premier League trophy around the Theatre of Dreams in May 2015. There was promise in a pre-season build up which included a very successful and no doubt lucrative trek across the U.S.A. finishing off with victory over Liverpool.

Then the new season kicked off on Saturday and it was like last season's nightmare hadn't come to an end. The only saving grace was that I was driving during the first half of MUFC v Swansea and was thus prevented from venting my spleen on-line. All the old failings were there: the lack of precision in passing; the lack of pace in attack; a defence that didn't seem to know each other's names; a midfield wandering about mindlessly as the game passed them by; reversion to crosses into the box in hope rather than expectation; a squad ravaged by injury and depleted in talent; a manager looking dumbfounded at the mess unfolding before his eyes; a Belgian basket ball player masquerading as a footballer flailing his arms about in opponents faces; Wayne Rooney despairing at the mediocrity around him; promising youngsters overburdened with expectation while over-paid internationals ran down dead ends, fell over and looked like novices.

The MUFC gravy train executives had promised that we would take this summer's transfer window by storm. We were encouraged to expect record breaking, championship winning, top ranking heavy weights of the international game to be filing through the gates of Old Trafford. Instead, we have had to watch bemused as one by one our targets head off to join our chief rivals' squads. Executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward has one job to do and a couple of weeks left to do it in and that is to sign some players fit to wear the MUFC shirt. So far Woodward seems hell bent on replicating his performance last summer, when he panic bought at the last moment and overpaid for a player who wouldn't even have made the bench under Sir Alex's reign. I'm beginning to think Ed Wood would have made a better fist of things.

Of course behind Woodward sits the Glazer family, who purchased a financially sound club in a leveraged buy out and saddled it with astronomical debts. They have treated MUFC as their private piggy bank and the weakness of the current squad reflects their parsimony in the transfer market. Only the brilliance of Sir Alex's team management covered the problems lurking beneath the surface and the consequences of the Glazers' ownership are there for all to see.

So I anticipate another season spent in not so quiet desperation, as I am forced to watch our main opponents disappear out of sight at the top of the table and I dread fixtures against teams who a couple of seasons ago feared MUFC and now lick their lips at the prospect of picking up points.

Bonus...

Anyone who knows me will have been aware of the agonies I suffered last season as Manchester United staggered from one humiliation to another under David Moyes. Moyes is a decent man and a good manager but he seemed completely out of his depth at Old Trafford. I recognise that Moyes was badly let down by some seriously over paid and under performing players, however, man management is part of the job. Now I look forward to a new season with new manager Louis van Gaal, who recently led the Dutch side to a World Cup semi-final in Brazil.

There has been much speculation about who will leave the club and who will be signed in the wake of Van Gaal's arrival but for me the good news has already started. It has been reported that as part of his deal with MUFC Van Gaal negotiated a £1.2 million donation to his favourite charity Muscles for Muscles whose work focuses on spinal muscular atrophy. The money was saved by manager and club as Van Gaal didn't use an agent in negotiating his two year £12 million contract. Set aside for a moment the issue of whether anyone should be paid that sort of money, they shouldn't, and let us rejoice in the fact that a charity has benefited from this deal, rather than one of the shady snake oil salesman who all too frequently infect the game.

Van Gaal is not alone in his charitable works. A couple of days ago it was revealed that Arsenal and Germany player Mesut Ozil paid for the operations of 23 Brazilian children out of his earnings and bonuses. Now, how about it Wazza, RvP and those of you who earned so much and delivered so little last year in a MUFC shirt?

Thank you.

I knew it was coming. I had a glimpse of what it would be like over a decade ago when an announcement was made, although the decision then was hastily reversed, but the day has finally arrived. Sir Alex Ferguson has announced his retirement as manager of Manchester United F.C..

There are so many memories of triumph and despair that I’m struggling to put them in any sort of order. The greatest moment must surely be the treble winning last few seconds of the Champions League final in 1999 against Bayern Munich when certain defeat was turned on its head. ‘Football, bloody hell’ was all Ferguson could say when the ITV interviewer shoved a microphone in front of the incredulous manager after the final whistle as MUFC were crowned champions. The victory over Chelsea in Moscow on penalties for Sir Alex’s second CL trophy in 2008 comes close; the agony following Ronaldo’s penalty miss replaced with relief and then joy as Edwin van der Sar saved from Anelka’s spot kick.

The most recent moment of despair, setting aside the ups and downs of this season, was that final goal by Manchester City with almost the last kick of the last game of last season to snatch the Premier League trophy from Ferguson’s grasp. How satisfying that Sir Alex has chosen to bow out having taken the league title back in emphatic style to secure United’s 20th Premier League title and his 13th as United’s manager.

And here is my most valued Manchester United possession; a message from the great man inside a copy of his autobiography, given to me by colleagues as I left my diocesan role in Chelmsford to take up my new post as Team Rector in Great Baddow.



Thank you Sir Alex for so many great memories.