banter

A dictionary definition of 'banter': 'the playful and teasing exchange of friendly remarks'. If you are a footballer or a football fan then banter is part of the deal. As a Manchester United fan over the years I have enjoyed banter with many friends in the flesh and on-line. In recent years that has meant making fun of those who support teams like Liverpool (last season's slip when the Premiership was in sight) and Arsenal (who had gone nearly nine seasons without a trophy). Of course if you dish it out you have to be willing to take it and last season was a particularly painful one for me as MUFC crashed and burned under the management of David Moyes. Sometimes people don't get banter, for example a Liverpool supporter who I didn't know personally took exception to some comments I made about their team on Facebook. Lesson learnt, don't accept as friends on FB those you don't know and who don't know you and your sense of humour.

Earlier this week it was revealed that two former Cardiff City FC senior officials, the manager and the head of recruitment, had been accused of involvement in the exchange of offensive messages whilst at the club. They were both dismissed last season in acrimonious circumstances and during an investigation into their actions the messages had come to light. The content of some of the messages has been leaked to the press and are now doing the rounds in the media. The messages quoted are clearly racist, sexist and homophobic. In an extraordinary response to this news the League Managers Association issued a statement on behalf of the sacked manager and here is a quote from it:

In the course of a search by the Club in early 2014 of 10,000 private text messages sent to and from another member of staff during Mr Mackay’s employment at Cardiff, in relation to other matters, it emerged that Malky had, it seems, sent a couple of one line texts that were, with the benefit of hindsight, very regrettable and disrespectful of other cultures. These were two text messages sent in private at a time Malky felt under great pressure and when he was letting off steam to a friend during some friendly text message banter. That said, Malky believes he could and should have conducted himself better on these two isolated occasions.  The precise details need to remain private for the time being until any FA process is complete.

You can read the full statement here and it is no surprise that today the LMA has issued a follow up statement to clarify its initial statement following justifiable criticism for referring to the messages as 'friendly text message banter'. I find myself asking how anyone could have used the word banter in regard to these messages and I suspect the answer is that within football there is still a culture that regards such messages as just that, banter. However, these messages are not playful and teasing remarks between two friends, they are offensive remarks made about other people and have no place in the game.

The former Chelsea and England defender Graham Le Saux has written powerfully about the abuse he suffered as a player because he was thought by some to be gay. Le Saux named several players and cited specific incidents where these players had acted in a clearly homophobic way and then later sought to dismiss the incidents as banter, a joke, part of the game. Two of those mentioned by Le Saux, Robbie Fowler and Robbie Savage, have since gone on to be BBC football pundits and both have belatedly apologised for their treatment of Le Saux. However, even when making the apology there seemed to be a certain amount of denial about the continued presence of homophobia in the game, with both pundits claiming that it wouldn't be a problem for a player to 'come out' in a dressing room.

There are plenty of other examples of those involved in football mistaking sexism, racism and homophobia for banter. The former Sky commentators Andy Gray and Richard Keys were removed by the broadcaster following a series of revelations about their attitudes and off camera comments. However, they quickly found other work within the sports' broadcasting world. Why did these people feel that their remarks were acceptable within the world of sport? Presumably because this is the sort of language that is used within that particular environment on a regular basis and so people feel comfortable using it. And it is not just sport that has this problem as a quick glance at the number of apologies made by the BBC regarding the language used by a certain Top Gear presenter demonstrates.

So let's get this clear once and for all: It is not banter to make jokes about the colour of someone's skin or their ethnicity; it is not banter to make jokes about someone's sexuality and it is not banter to make jokes about someone's gender. The sooner football wakes up to this truth the better for all who care about the game.

Inept Bladder

In September I had to report the discovery of a malady afflicting certain footballers known as Translationitis. It is now my sad duty to relate that a further illness has been diagnosed. This particular illness seems to target those in the upper echelons of football administration and the most tragic victim is none other than the FIFA president Sepp Blatter. The disease is commonly known as Vox Incontinence and the most obvious symptom is an inability to speak without causing offence to any rational human being.

Blatter has suffered VI for many years and the tell tales signs have been there for those who had ears to hear. Here are a few examples of Blatter’s illness:

"Let the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball. Female players are pretty, if you excuse me for saying so, and they already have some different rules to men – such as playing with a lighter ball. That decision was taken to create a more female aesthetic, so why not do it in fashion?" 2004 on women’s football.

"I think in football there's too much modern slavery in transferring players or buying players here and there, and putting them somewhere." 2008 on multi millionaire Cristiano Ronaldo wanting to leave Man Utd.

"There are gay footballers, but they don't declare it because it will not be accepted in these macho organisations. But look at women's football – homosexuality is more popular there." When Qatar was awarded the 2022 World Cup Blatter declared that gay fans attending the tournament should "refrain from any sexual activities". Homosexuality is illegal in Qatar.

"There are no rotten eggs. There is no systematic corruption in Fifa. That is nonsense. We are financially clean and clear." 2010. In 2011 a FIFA vice-president and a presidential candidate left the organisation following accusations of bribery.

Now Blatter has hit the headlines again with his utterances about racism in football. Not once but twice in interviews this week Blatter claimed that racism was not a problem in football.

"I would deny it. There is no racism, there is maybe one of the players towards another, he has a word or a gesture which is not the correct one, but also the one who is affected by that. He should say that this is a game. We are in a game, and at the end of the game, we shake hands, and this can happen, because we have worked so hard against racism and discrimination." CNN

"During a match you may say something to someone who's not looking exactly like you, but at end of match it's forgotten." Al Jazeera

To begin with Blatter attempted to deploy a version of the Translationitis defence claiming he had been misunderstood but that line didn’t hold up. Blatter also tried to tackle head on some of his more vociferous critics, including Rio Ferdinand via Twitter, and issued a photograph of himself with Tokyo Sexwale the South African anti-apartheid campaigner and politician. However, today the FIFA president has issued a statement acknowledging the ill advised nature of his comments:

"My personal position against racism is very clear and has been very strong for many years. I am sorry and I regret that my statements earlier this week have contributed to an unfortunate situation."

I don’t wish to be cynical, but I wonder whether Blatter’s regret is related to the heat being turned up on FIFA by some of its corporate partners and sponsors anxious to avoid association with a man who treats racism so glibly. In Blatter’s case I fear that Vox Incontinence may be incurable; only time will tell.

Close to the Edge at Tesco’s

Kate picked up a local free magazine called The Edge this morning at the checkout in Tesco’s. At first glance it looked like the usual fare of news, features and pages of adverts for businesses in Chelmsford and then you reach the page called Only Joking. The first joke was innocuous, unless you are a roadie, but from then on it was offensive. The second joke was about an African baby covered in flies, followed by a sexist joke, a joke about blow jobs and a racist joke about Pakistan. At the bottom of the page it says that all jokes have been provided by Edge readers and there is an invitation to email someone called Shaun at the magazine with your jokes.

I’m tempted to publish Shaun’s email address at the magazine to unleash the horrors of bots, spam, trolls and all the other plagues of the web on the magazine. It would be about as funny as the nauseating drivel the magazine has published. Instead I think I’ll drop a line to Tesco’s and some of the local business who have adverts in the mag and see how happy they are to be associated with this material. After all, they have paid to identify with sexism, racism, obscenity and cruelty.