The wrong Neville #worldcup2014

You can understand how the mistake happened but pity the poor minion who is going to pay for the error. A couple of years ago Gary Neville retired from playing football and took the pundit's chair at Sky Sports for their Monday Night Football show. Many questioned Sky's judgement but Neville soon won over the critics with his detailed analysis, incisive comments and in-depth knowledge of the game based on a footballing career with honours that include 8 Premierships, 2 Champions League trophies, 3 FA Cups and 2 Football League Cups amongst many other achievements. Neville also has the qualifications to talk about international football having played 85 times for England. So when the BBC were looking for a new summariser to replace the world weary Mark Lawrenson for England's World Cup matches, Neville was an obvious choice. Imagine the delight at the BBC when they discovered Neville was available and the champagne corks will have been popping at BBC Sports when he signed up for the gig.

Unfortunately, the BBC got the wrong Neville. It had escaped their notice until too late that they'd signed Phil Neville not Gary and the consequences were played out in high definition, surround sound glory for all to hear last Saturday night as England's opening match against Italy kicked off. And that strange sound you could hear at half time, that was Mark Lawrenson chuckling as he sipped his Ovaltine.

Neville Neville

P.S. Truth be told, I thought Phil did a decent job, offered some good analysis and his CV is a lot more impressive than many on the airwaves at the moment. O.K. his delivery was fairly monotone and he needs to work on his microphone technique but he offered a lot more insight than most of the other summarisers on offer. If you want an over-excited airing of ignorance turn over to ITV or tune in to Robbie Savage and don't get me started on Jonathan Pearce's meltdown for the BBC covering France v Honduras.

Still conflicted #worldcup2014

This is probably the most conflicted I've felt about a football World Cup. I always look forward to seeing some of the best players in the world on the biggest stage. I say some because Ryan Giggs and George Best, to name but two, never graced the World Cup finals. However, this time more than ever, I am aware of the contrast between the staging of the tournament in Brazil and the terrible conditions endured by so many of that country's citizens. Alongside this is the ongoing saga of the FIFA shenanigans around awarding Qatar the 2022 finals and Sepp Blatter's continued mismanagement as president. I posted about the problems facing Brazilians a few months ago and nothing much has changed. For me the issues are incisively summed up in this sketch of the World Cup trophy by French illustrator Pez.

The shaming of our political class

What I hadn't counted on when posting yesterday about the free edition of The Sun, was the desperation with which our political leaders crave the support of Murdoch's press. All three leaders of the main parties were photographed holding up their copy of the freebie and the only reason can be that they are courting its support in the lead up to next year's general election. Not long ago we were being told that our politicians were ready to take on the vested interests in the press; it was time for them to be held to account and properly regulated. And yet, at a time when former News International employees, including editors, are on trial accused of various crimes connected with phone hacking, there are Dave, Nick and Ed gurning at the cameras clasping the newspaper. Business as usual then.

Unwelcome post

Made a basic school boy error this morning when I forgot to put the note on the door asking our postie not to deliver the free copy of The Sun to The Rectory. Today Murdoch's rag is being delivered free to households up and down the country. The excuse for doing it today is the start of the World Cup and the newspaper is touting itself as a celebration of what it means to be English under the headline This Is Our England.

I thought I'd check out the content. No page 3 for a change so at least something positive but it does raise the question why? If they are worried about causing offence then why do they have it in their normal editions? If you want to campaign against page 3 then check out the No More Page 3 website. Some of the usual suspects are in there including the professional rent a gobs represented by Clarkson, Hopkins, Moore and a predictably obnoxious piece courtesy of  Rod Liddle. I was very disappointed to discover James Corden and Alex James contributing.

This free edition isn't being delivered to Liverpool post codes; recognising that to have done so would have led to one of the biggest bonfires since 1666. Never forget the way that The Sun defamed those caught up in the Hillsborough tragedy and used the death of 96 supporters to boost its circulation figures.

Anyway, what to do. Well I thought I'd return the compliment and send my copy back to The Sun. If you'd like to join me here's the address: FREEPOST, The Sun, London E98 1AX.

Baptism.alt

I had the privilege of baptising a wonderfully active little lad in church yesterday morning. He had those shoes with the lights in the soles that flicker when you walk and he did a brilliant job of demonstrating them during the service. When it came to the actual baptism this little boy proved to be something of a moving target, however, I managed to connect water to forehead at some point during the rite so can confidently declare that he has been baptised. It was great fun and it got me thinking about what alternative strategies one might employ with non-compliant baptism candidates and here are a few suggestions.

1. A water pistol or for the really uncooperative a large pump action super soaker. My weapon of choice would be the NERF Super Soaker Xtreme Switch Shot Water Gun Banana Ammo Clip Tank Blaster.
2. Organise a game of head tennis with a water balloon.
3. Wait until it’s raining.
4. Arrange an outing to the local water park.
5. Include a game of bobbing for apples in the sermon.
6. Make an arrangement with the local hair dresser and offer a two for one haircut and baptism.
7. Tell the candidate that the one thing they must never do in church is go near the font.

Other suggestions which comply with our church health and safety policy, have undergone an activity hazard assessment and conform to the good taste commensurate with the solemn sacrament of holy baptism (or as the C of E website likes to call it ‘Christening’) gratefully received.

Offline

Back from spending a couple of weeks in Picardie with the family. I confess I was looking forward to the holiday with some trepidation when I discovered, after booking, that our gite didn't have wifi. For the last five years I've been able to get online abroad and even in deepest Wales while on vacation. I did some research on getting a SIM card in France for my IPad but the process seemed to be both complicated and expensive and this was confirmed while I was there.

So how was I going to cope without access to social media and all the other online stuff that has become part of my everyday life. Well it turns out I was going to be absolutely fine. Not only did I not really miss it but when the occasional opportunity arose to log on thanks to free wifi in a cafe it was all rather half hearted. I quickly scanned my twitter timeline but had no real desire to tweet. I uploaded some photos so that friends and family could see what we were up to and that's about it. The only time I went out of my way to get Internet access was following my daughter's birthday so that she could check her Facebook timeline. That involved a trip to MacDonalds which I will never repeat. (Autocorrect just tried to change that last word to repent which is just about right).

So there you have it. I was wondering how I would cope without my digital umbilical chord and I can honestly say it was a surprisingly pleasant experience.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Conflicted... again!

I thought the Olympics last year were brilliant and I always look forward to the World Cup, even if it is a triumph of hope over experience when my team is involved. However, what is happening in Brazil at the moment leaves me conflicted and here is why...



With thanks to my friend Father Nick Wheeler who ministers in the City of God, Rio de Janeiro.