Saturday, 19 March 2011

What time is it?

Lots of people getting excited about the Super Moon this weekend. If you don’t know what this is about, basically the moon is going to look bigger in the sky for all sorts of scientific reasons. For a more erudite explanation check out the Beaker Folk, though personally I find this explanation from Bruce Almighty more convincing.

My blog isn’t particularly known for its scientific content, however, I have been taking a close interest in the question of time and relativity. My interest has been aroused by my close observations of an extraordinary and empirically verifiable phenomena known as Fergie Time. FT refers to the way in which Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United, is able to bend time with the use of his watch.

SAF Briefly, if Man Utd are in need of extra time in order to score a goal then by tapping his watch and pointing at the referee SAF is able to cause time to stand still. When the requisite goal is scored normal time resumes. FT also works the other way round. If Man Utd are holding on and under pressure towards the end of a game then SAF taps his watch and points at the referee and the final whistle is blown. Scientific opinion is divided on whether SAF’s habits of mastication also affect the passage of time; it is certainly an observable fact that he chews his gum more frantically when deploying Fergie Time. The other aspect of FT is the fact that it works more effectively at Old Trafford Man Utd’s stadium.

In order to develop my understanding of Time I have turned to a rising star in the firmament of television scientists. This man manages to make even the most complicated aspects of cosmology accessible to the average viewer and he combines his intellectual prowess with a sharp dress sense and a cool haircut. Rather than say any more I’ll let you judge for yourself. Oh, in case you are interested the other guy is Professor Brian Cox.

1 comment:

Archdruid Eileen said...

This form of time management used to be Shankly Time in the 70s. Maybe it's passed on like Elijah's cloak between tough Scottish managers.